Trust Transforms!

January 4, 2013January 4, 2013 / intrepidjane

Welcome to the 11^th day of the 12 Days of Christmas project! (If you are just joining the project now, you can get the full low-down here: https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/18/welcome-to-the-12-days-of-christmas-project/ and I really recommend that you start the project at Day 1 to get the full benefit!)

Yesterday’s post was all about gaining more insights and reviewing progress. And today? Well, today’s the day. This is the big one. If you can crack this, you’re pretty much well on your way to staying “on track” for the long term (and enjoying it!).

Trust is the key!

Today’s post is all about learning to trust your body again. And it’s not just about your learning to trust your body, it’s all about your body learning to trust you too! If, in the past, you trusted “outside” information to determine what/when/how to eat and if you stopped trusting your real appetite, if you stopped respecting and processing your emotions .. well, it might just be time to start relating to your body in a new way.

Trust is a crucial element of a mutually respectful, loving relationship. If the trust has been broken between you and your body, healing this trust can transform your relationship.

Chances are, you’re in a relationship right now with another person or you’ve experienced relationships in the past. And you may have had experiences of broken trust too or know people who have experienced it. And that means, you’ve probably got a fair bit of expertise in this field already. If you were to give advice on how to build trust in a relationship, what would it be? Can you think of at least 5 different ways to build trust in a relationship and then apply them to the relationship between you and your body?

Here are the 5 ways I came up with :

Take small steps!

1. Start small You can build confidence and trust in your body by handing over “responsibility” for small things to start with. Whilst your body is a powerful, intelligent organism capable of both managing your appetite and regulating your weight, “you” may not be able to fully trust its capability yet. What is one small thing, one small responsibility you could give back to your body to show that you are beginning to trust it?

Idea : Every time you eat, check in with your body to see if you can gauge how hungry you are. Check whether it’s physiological hunger or an emotion. What’s important to start with, is not how good you are at determining how hungry you are – it’s the act of checking in the first place. The message to your body is “ I am genuinely trying to listen to you. I trust you are giving me some helpful information here. I may not know what that information is but I know it’s important.”

If that feels too much to start with, think of other body signals that you may not always respect, like a sleep signal. Do you ever get to the point in the evening when your body says sleep and your mind says “let’s stay up an watch the film”?. Do you think you could respect that signal and go to sleep? Again the message to your body is “I’m starting to listen. I know you are doing your best to maintain optimal health. I trust your judgement and I’m acting on it.”

Look for the things you can trust!

2. Look for the things you can trust, rather than the things you can’t trust yet Often in relationships where trust has been broken, the “wounded” party wants to build trust again but finds themselves always looking for evidence of the behaviour that broke the trust in the first place. For example, if a partner had an affair, the “wounded” party is constantly on the look- out for all the signs of another affair (rather than on constant look- out for all the evidence that their partner is remaining faithful). So, within the context of your relationship with you body, make a list of at least 10 things that you totally trust about it. Consider this question every day and notice how quickly the list grows!

Idea : Write down your list, starting with the phrase “I totally trust my body to ….” Example ~ I totally trust my body to regulate my heart rate. I totally trust my body to grow my finger and toe nails. (Get the idea?)

3. Be honest, be open and be prepared to have the not-so-easy conversations Learning to communicate with your body in an honest way, and being prepared to “stay in the conversation” when things get tough, is key to building trust. The message to your body is “I’m not running away. I’m not just going to switch off the trust. By learning more about you, and by seeking to understand your needs and your motivations, I’m in a better position to build a trusting relationship with you.”

Idea : Have a regular “date” with your body. Set a period of time to one side every week for just you and your body. Get things off your chest (both of you!) and talk about the real stuff. You can use the process I described on the 4^th Day of Christmas (that Barry Manilow is a very helpful guy, you know! :)) Using this process also helps to build empathy (something that can really support trust-building). https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/28/connect-communicate-and-collaborate/

Become a cheer-leader!

4. Acknowledge your partner’s strengths : become a cheer-leader! We’ve probably all been to dinner parties where we’ve met a couple who quite obviously aren’t getting along. They pick and dig at each other, constantly undermining their relationship. And they even do it in public! (Woo-hoo! Hello! Wake-up call coming straight at ya!) How would you feel if someone did that to you? How do you think your body experiences your digs and prods (in public too!)?

If you’re serious about re-building your relationship with your body, and about establishing a climate of trust, then it’s time to start acknowledging your body’s strengths – and then RAVING about them (even in public!) The message to your body is something like this “ I may not have been so good at letting you know this in the past but I want to be with you. Just you. I admire you. You’ve stuck by me through thick-and-thin – literally. I’m in it for the long haul. I want us both to feel really good about being in this relationship. You can trust the fact that I genuinely admire you. I’m proud of you. And to build that trust, I’m going to keep reminding you that I’m on your side. Just like you’ve been on mine.”

Idea : Every day, look at your body and find one thing you love about it. Now go for it with the gushing! Really get yourself into the “I really love this” feeling (you know how to do this now, right?) .A brilliant example of this feeling is in Saturday Night Fever when Doreen says “I love to watch you dance, Tony!” She adores him and when she says these words, we totally believe her because her whole body is giving that message too. So get your Doreen on and get going with the adoration 🙂

Here are some ideas to get you started :

“I just LOVE the way my eyes sparkle when …….”

“It’s incredible how I can let other people know what I’m feeling without having to say a word. What an amazing thing!”

“I adore how my eyebrows tell the whole story by….”

“I’m in awe of my own heartbeat. When I feel it, it makes me realise ……”

Advanced Method 🙂 After I’ve done this exercise, I usually share an Austin Powers moment with myself in front of the mirror : I give myself a wink and say “It’s good to be me!”. This step is completely optional ~ although, I can’t recommend it highly enough. It really makes me giggle 🙂

Be predictable in new ways!

5. Be predictable If your partner says they will be at home at 7pm and they always are, it builds trust. Now, thinking in terms of the relationship between you and your body, can your body predict you and can you predict it? I bet, in the past, your body may have been pretty confident that if it gave you a loud and clear “stop eating now!”signal , you wouldn’t stop at all! So now, you’ve got the opportunity to show your body how predictable you can be in a new way, so trust grows between you 🙂

Decide on one thing you can do every day (something that will support your weight loss journey) which will let your body know that it can rely on you. Make sure this behaviour is so regular, that it becomes predictable.

Idea : (I’m saying this in a very quiet and gentle voice 🙂 and I’ve just winked at you too in an Austin Powers way). Do something physical (your body will love you for it!). 5 minutes a day will do the trick as long as you do it every day and become predictable.

You could stretch, you could dance, you could go for a walk, you could… (well you’ve got the general direction I’m headed in, right?)

Phew – so that’s us done for today! It’s really worth journaling your journey towards a trusting relationship with your body : it’ll probably be a deeply moving experience! And if you’re reading this, wondering whether it’s worth building a trusting relationship with your body, all I can say is that it’s the best thing I ever did for myself.

It’s true love!

I feel privileged to own my body. I am in awe of its strength and tenderness. I love the way it supports me and communicates with me.I love the way it moves. Most of all, I feel that I always have “someone” on my side .. and now, I feel there is no gap between me and my body. We are close, inseparable and deeply connected : walking each other home 🙂 (That’s right, I’m crying : it’s a true love story and it’s okay to cry at those!)

Here are what some of the women who’ve experienced the Thigh-High Boot Camp programme say about their journey with Trust :

Julie is more than 2 stone lighter since boot camp!

Julie (attended Thigh-High Boot Camp in Portrush, Northern Ireland, June 2012) “I spent such a long time in my life not being in touch with my body and hating it. At boot camp, I began an exciting journey to get me back in touch with my body again and what an exciting journey that is! (I’m well on the way to reaching my final destination of overall fabulousness :)). One of the key things I’ve learned is that my body is actually a pretty amazing thing and knows what it’s doing. I’m beginning to trust my body to do the best for me and it’s giving me fabulous results. No guilt, losing weight in an effortless way, getting excited about exercise and generally feeling so much better about myself, my body and my life. Drop the conscious control and guilt and trust your body. The great thing is that when you tune into your body and actually listen to it, it’ll tell you LOUD and CLEAR exactly what it needs. I’m certainly excited about what 2013 will bring!”

Kate

Kate (attended Thigh-High Boot Camp in Drymen, Scotland, October 2012) “Tuning in to my authentic appetite has been a revelation. It turns out that the part of myself I believed I could trust the least is the part that most deserves my trust and respect.”

Stephanie

Stephanie (attended the programme in Scotland, August 2010) “It’s been a journey… Now I don’t think, I feel. And I feel pretty darn good. And when I’m feeling, I’m not analysing : I am not focusing on losing weight/ body fat. It is just happening. And I’m having what I want when I want. What I want has changed a lot, what appeals to me has changed.”

Gotta run 🙂 ! (#Predictable :))

Ready For The Next Epiphany?

January 3, 2013January 3, 2013 / intrepidjane

You’re getting even more enlightened!

Welcome to the 10^th day of the 12 Days of Christmas project! (If you are just joining the project now, you can get the full low-down here : https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/18/welcome-to-the-12-days-of-christmas-project/ and I really recommend that you start the project at Day 1 to get the full benefit!)

Yesterday’s post was all about learning how to be a pilot 🙂 so that you can be confident that you are heading in the right direction – and be aware when you’re wiggling 🙂 (That word makes me giggle!)

And today? Well, it’s already Day 10 and that means that the 12 Days of Christmas project is nearing its end. I thought that today might be a lovely opportunity to check in with what you’re learning as we did on the 5^th day. As you continue to check in, I hope you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the progress you’re making, the changes that are occurring and the insights you are gaining. How much more have you learned since the last “Epiphany” on Day 5?

What are you learning that’s of value to you?

Activity 1 : Your Second Epiphany! As you look back over the whole project , what are the 3 most significant gifts (in terms of learning, insight and awareness) that engaging with this process has brought to you ? What is changing as a result of your learning? What have you learned in the last 5 days that’s different to what you learned in the first 5?

Activity 2 : Complete The Following Statements

1.Right now food means __________ to me.

2. I would describe my relationship with my body as ______________

3. I know I’m present in my body when ________________________

4. When I look in the mirror I say to myself _____________________

5. Considering the future, in terms of my relationship with food and with my body, I feel ___________________________________________

6. The thought of processing my emotions without the help of food is ____

7. I could support myself on my weight loss journey by ______________

8. My body is ___________________________________________

9. I am becoming more _____________________________________

10. It’s now time for me to stop __________ and to start _____________

The best way to do this exercise is to be as honest as you can! Let whatever comes up, come out 🙂 And as you consider how you’ve completed each of the statements, what are you noticing? What’s changed? What’s new? What would you like to resolve? Are you heading in the right direction for you? (You may sense more statements coming up naturally : let ’em out and learn!)

If anything comes up that you’re not comfortable with, ask yourself this question: “So, this is how/what I’m feeling/thinking/talking/experiencing right now. How do I want to be different?” (Just a wee nudge – remember to answer this positively. Not how you don’t want to be BUT how you DO want to be!)

Remember to fuel the flames!

As you ask this question, you might want to revisit my post on goal-setting and how to get in the mood for action! Here’s the link : https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2013/01/01/energising-action/

As soon as you feel the powerful, positive state emerging, just ask yourself what’s the next smallest step I could take to help me to keep heading in the right direction? (Then take it 🙂 and use your pilot’s licence :)).

Please feel free to share your learning :sometimes what you’re learning can be a fabulous gift for others (and can really help pennies to drop!)

So that’s us for Day 10 (oh and if you are playing the Get The Message game, we are already on the 3rd and final word..Just 2 more letters to go – but I’m sure, even with a few letters missing, you’ve got the complete message already!)

Gotta run :)!

Nourishing Confidence!

December 31, 2012December 31, 2012 / intrepidjane

Welcome to the 7^th day of the 12 Days of Christmas project! (If you are just joining the project now, you can get the full low-down here: https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/18/welcome-to-the-12-days-of-christmas-project/ and I really recommend that you start the project at Day 1 to get the full benefit!)

Yesterday was all about your learning how to recognise an emotion by observing it ; how to learn from the emotion; andhow to process the emotion and let it go.

What am I serving up today?

Today, I’m taking a slightly different tack and taking a look at food and the notion of “diets”. If you’ve been taking part in the 12 Days of Christmas project, you may be paying more attention to which foods support your eating pleasure ; you may have changed your mind about what pleasure means for you. You may be reconnecting with your body, with your appetite and with your emotions. You may even be developing confidence in your own ability to pay attention to your natural signals.

And there’s a powerful word : CONFIDENCE. As you’re developing confidence in your own body, as you begin to value and relate to your body in new ways, you might want to feed it in new ways too. How confident are you about making the right food choices for you?

How do you know what’s healthy for you and your body? Well, that’s a really good question. And there are a myriad of answers to be found in a multitude of dietary approaches. And whilst it can be helpful to keep connected to nutritional science’s latest conversation , it’s probably even more helpful to keep connected to your own inner nutritional guru.

Here are my suggestions to help you find a way of eating that works for both you and your body :

1. It needs to be pleasurable (look good, smell good and feel good in your body).

2. Be fully respectful of the signals and feedback your body offers to you.

3. Experiment until you have designed a way of eating that is tailored to you.

4. Acknowledge that your body is changing all the time (this means that what you eat may need to change over time).

5. Develop a style of eating focused on health / energy / vitality rather than weight loss. (Ask yourself : what do I want food to give me BEYOND weight loss?)

About Diets There is a whole heap of information about diet, eating philosophies and nutrition available – in fact, there is so much information around that it’s not always easy to determine what’s going to work for you or be healthy for you. New ideas come and go and researchers are discovering new things all the time. Because nutritional science is in its infancy , this means we have to be courageous enough to make our own choices (we have to evaluate the science and do our homework too!) and we have to be confident enough to experiment and find out what works for our own body and our own mind.

Trust your inner nutritional guru!

I’m certainly not going to be prescribing any diets here! Rather, I’m suggesting that it’s all about your learning to make food choices that support your health. I’m suggesting it’s all about your having the confidence to develop a style of eating (your own nutritional philosophy) based on your own body wisdom and on your own assessment of anything new that nutritional science brings to the conversation. Being your own best nutritional guru is not only GREAT for your mind-body but it frees you from being driven exclusively by an external set of rules.

It Really Is Up To You! If I’d been writing this blog post 10 years ago, you would have seen a picture of the UK Healthy Eating Pyramid (with cereals and grains propping up the rest of the diet). That’s how I was trained when I studied nutrition : low fat and whole grain carbs as a basis for a healthy diet.

Since then, lots has changed . When I trained in over 10 years ago, they were just starting to talk about the notion of Glycaemic Indices (the rate at which foods release their sugar into the body and affect blood sugar levels).Now they talk about Glycaemic Load (GL) (ie. they are learning more and more all the time) and diets higher in protein and higher in fat are now being recommended (protein satisfies you and fat doesn’t always make you fat! That’s the latest conversation :))

How do you know if your way of eating is working for you?

Confused yet? Who wouldn’t be?! I’ve checked out every diet over the years (and tried out most when I was struggling with my weight). In the end, I decided to put my own stake in the ground : I developed an eating approach that works for me based on my own body wisdom and my own views on the science. Here are the guidelines that I developed for myself that help me to make choices about my style of eating / food . As you consider my guidelines, what would yours be? (Write them down, chew them over and them give it a whirl : experiment! You might be thrilled at your growing confidence in the area of nutrition :))

1.Do I believe the science? (With the internet, well-qualified friends and a basic understanding of what constitutes “good research”, you can begin to get a feel for whether an eating approach is worth trying!)

2. Do I feel satisfied eating in this way? (If I am hungry and constantly thinking about food ~ it’s not working for me!)

3. Do I feel energised and healthy?

4. Am I sleeping well?

5. Does my skin and hair look good?

6. Am I achieving / maintaining a healthy weight?

7. Do I enjoy eating this way?

8. Can I find the foods easily?

9. Does it support my lifestyle? (Can I run on this food? Can I compete on this food? Can I eat out with friends on this food?)

10. Is it sustainable in the longer term? (I couldn’t detox, juice-fast or Slimfast “shake it” for the rest of my life ~ and I bet you couldn’t either!)

11. IS THE FOOD “REAL”? (I avoid processed foods whenever possible : my body doesn’t like them!)

All In Good Time! Your body may take time to adapt to a new way of eating. Give your body and mind a chance to digest what you are offering to it.

Be an explorer of food!

Well, I think I’ve served up quite a healthy portion today, so I’ll leave you to get stuck in. And I’m going to leave you with a smile too 🙂 . This quote from Erma Bombeck always makes me giggle : “I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food”. Puts me in mind of Indiana Jones and those Lara Croft boots again 🙂

If Indy (he’s my favourite after Barry Manilow, by the way) were sitting next to me , I’d expect he’d offer the following advice to us all right now :

Go exploring!

Have an adventure!

Have fun!

You may get into some scrapes but you’ll sure learn fast!

Respect the magic : it’s powerful!

You’re more resourceful than you think!

If you find a puzzle, the solution isn’t probably what you expect it to be!

Trap doors aren’t so bad : if you fall down one, enjoy the ride (but remember where the trap door is for the next time)!

There is always treasure : follow the signs and symbols, crack the code and it’s yours :)!

Your enemy often turns out to be a great ally!

Gotta run 🙂 ! Oh – And do have a wonderful slide into 2013 tonight 🙂

JT ( If you are interested in 1-1 coaching or in attending a live Thigh-High Bootcamp event, please feel free to visit my website http://www.thighhighbootcamp.com for more info 🙂 The next live events are taking place in Northern Ireland – Portrush and Belfast in January and February ; and in England – Warrington in February).

Early Epiphany Alert!

December 29, 2012December 29, 2012 / intrepidjane

The Three Kings brought gifts!

Welcome to the 5th day of the 12 Days of Christmas project! (If you are just joining the project now, you can get the full low-down here: https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/18/welcome-to-the-12-days-of-christmas-project/ and I really recommend that you start the project at Day 1 to get the full benefit!)

If you are playing the “get the message” game (take the first letter from the title of each blog post, starting on the 1^st day of Christmas, and by the 12^th day, you’ll get the full message), today’s letter marks the end of the first word of the message 🙂

Yesterday’s post was all about your beginning to re-build a healthy relationship with your body and appetite based on a loving connection, honest communication and genuine collaboration.

Today’s post is all about reviewing what you’ve learned so far. It’s about considering what gifts this process of learning to “stay on track” has brought to you. That’s right – the Epiphany has come early! I think that the Epiphany (when the Three Kings arrived with gifts in the Christmas story) actually occurs on the 6^th January but, as far as I’m concerned, the earlier the Epiphany, the better 🙂 As epiphany also means a higher level of awareness, a moment of enlightenment or revelation, it provides a perfect focus for today’s activities.

Activity 1 : Your Epiphany As you look back over the last 5 days (I suggest that you do this exercise at the END of today to coincide with the completion of your food diary), what are the 3 most significant gifts (in terms of learning, insight and awareness) that engaging with this process has brought to you so far? What is changing as a result of your learning?

Activity 2 : What Is Your Gold, Frankincense And Myrrh? To keep the Christmas theme going, you might also consider your learning gifts as gold, frankincense and myrrh. There are many theories about the significance of these gifts from the Three Kings. Many would say each gift has a spiritual meaning. So, let’s get creative and discover more gifts by asking some more questions 🙂 There’s always more to learn!

Gold

GOLD – It was thought that gold was offered as a symbol of kingship. So, with the benefit of your increasing awareness, who or what has been ruling you in the past? Who or what should be on the throne? How would you like your territory governed? Who or what will be the chief advisor? What kind of realm would you like to live in?

Frankincense

FRANKINCENSE – It was thought that frankincense was offered as a symbol of deity. Considering your body and your appetite : what inspires awe? What do you now hold sacred? Which of your body’s “special powers” are you most grateful for? How will you honour your body from now on? Which rituals can you create to celebrate your body’s magic?

MYRRH – It was thought that myrrh was offered as symbol of death. So, within the context of your “staying on track”, what do you need to lay to rest? In order to enjoy a healthy relationship with your body and with food, what do you need to let go of? What are you noticing that’s coming to an end? What are you noticing that’s beginning now?

Myrrh

Enjoy unwrapping your gifts (Oh – and look after them : they might even last you a lifetime!). Feel free to share your learning gifts as a comment 🙂

Gotta run :)!

Connect, Communicate and Collaborate!

December 28, 2012December 28, 2012 / intrepidjane

Re-Connecting!

Welcome to the 4^th day of the 12 Days of Christmas project! (If you are just joining the project now, you can get the full low-down here: https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/18/welcome-to-the-12-days-of-christmas-project/ and I really recommend that you start the project at Day 1 to get the full benefit!)

Yesterday’s post was all about your going inside your body to locate your appetite and to learn about it. By getting back in touch with your appetite, you can begin listen to it and to build a respectful connection with it. We’ll review the results of your 3-day Appetite Awareness Action Adventure in a few days time 🙂

“Come on then! What’s on today’s menu?” (I know you are raring to go now 🙂 !) Well, today’s all about your deepening your connection with your appetite and your body.

Let’s just look at things from a relationship angle for a moment. Imagine being in a relationship (a couple) where one is communicating very clearly and the other isn’t listening or can’t understand the communication. Imagine a relationship where one is communicating honestly and directly and the other offers a wall of silence or disdain. Imagine being in a relationship where one is doing nearly all the “housework” and the other takes it all for granted or just goes around making a mess. Imagine a relationship where one regularly offers thoughtful or useful gifts and the other does not appreciate the significance of the gift or destroys the gift every time the couple gets into an argument. Imagine a relationship where one offers unconditional love and the other offers only crumbs of affection when their partner is “looking good” or “behaving themselves”. Imagine a relationship where one offers steadfast fidelity and the other leaves at the drop of a hat (and then returns, knowing that open arms await them in spite of how cruel they have been).

Build a loving and respectful relationship!

Now, consider the relationship with your own body and your own appetite. Read that last paragraph again. Ring any bells?! If it does, then maybe today is the day that you and your appetite/body are ready for some relationship coaching! And I’m not going to pull any punches here : I’m going to be straight with you. Brace yourself. Here it comes… Your appetite-body is the “good guy” here and, as my mum (married to my father for almost 50 years now) would say to me about my partner “It’s great that he accepts you for who you are. Make sure you look after him, make sure you are kind to him, make sure you let him know how much you appreciate him: he’s your rock. And, if times ever get tough, just remember to keep talking.”

(Oh – and if you are packing your bags ready for a guilt trip. Just stop right there! It’s worth remembering that most of us are doing the best we can with the resources we have at the time. Today’s activity isn’t about feeling guilt : it’s about learning, it’s about listening, it’s about dialogue and it’s about starting the process of rebuilding a healthy relationship.)

So are you in? Are you up for re-building your relationship with your body and with your appetite? Great! This next activity is all about your building a healthy relationship with your appetite/body based on a loving connection, honest communication and genuine collaboration (teamwork!)

Consider things from all angles!

Relationship-Building Barry Manilow-Style 🙂(Really – I’m actually quite a fan of his :)) Do you remember that song of Barry’s (we are on first-name terms, obviously :P) called “Bermuda Triangle”? There is a GREAT line in that classic that goes something like this : “Bermuda Triangle, try to see things from my angle.” And this next exercise could have been designed by the man himself : it’s all about looking at a relationship from several angles (or perspectives) so that you can achieve a deeper understanding of the relationship and gain new insights which may help you on your quest to improve the relationship.

The Set-Up You’ll need 3 chairs for this activity. Take the chairs and place them in a triangle configuration. Chair 1 is the chair for you / you in your head / your mind (you choose whichever works best for you). Chair 2 is the chair for your appetite or your body (you choose whichever works best for you). Chair 3 is the expert chair / the Oprah chair 🙂 / the all-knowing chair or the higher-self chair (choose the description which appeals most to you).

Here’s how to do it! I’m now going to offer you a framework for this exercise and some suggested questions to ask / answer in each chair. However, once you get the hang of it, feel free to play with the process and have the conversation that you need to have to get the kind of relationship you want!

1. Sit in chair 1 and look at chair 2 (your appetite/body chair). Create a visual representation of your appetite / body in Chair 2 and now CONNECT with your body/appetite in a way that is right for you. You can do this by greeting it or smiling at it – or even waving at it. What’s important is to acknowledge it! Now, talking to your appetite/body, explain how you feel about your body/appetite right now AND explain the kind of relationship you would like to have with your body/appetite instead. Acknowledge your part in the relationship “break-down” (some people actually like to apologise, express love and gratitude at this point. My advice is, just do what feels right for you at each stage of the process). Explain why having a healthy relationship is important to you. If you are clear about some of the actions you are prepared to take to improve the relationship, let your body / appetite know what you are prepared to do.

Tip : do not edit or consciously mediate your words. Let the words that come up, come out 🙂

Worth noting : what feelings come up as you are talking to your body / appetite? As you made the representation of your appetite / body, did it surprise you? Did it remind you of anybody or anything?

It can be a very moving experience!

2. Stand up from chair 1 and get ready to “access” your body / appetite. Imagine yourself stepping fully inside the “mind”of your body/appetite – so that you have the experience of “becoming” your appetite / body. Sit in chair 2 and start to communicate with chair 1. This is your chance (appetite / body) to be really heard Respond to what was said in chair 1, describe the kind of relationship you would like with your mind / your head / you , let chair 1 know what you think about their suggestions for improving the relationship. Offer your own suggestions for improving the relationship.

Tip : to gain the most valuable insights, make sure you are fully associated to the representation of your body / appetite. Really “see” things from your body’s / appetite’s point of view.

Worth noting : what feelings come up as you are talking to chair 1 from chair 2?

3. Now, stand up and move over to chair 3 – I’ll call it the Relationship Expert’s chair. Before sitting down, make a visual representation of the owner of chair 3 and then imagine yourself floating into “the expert”, so that you are fully associated to this position. In this position you are outside the relationship looking in and your value to the relationship is the ability to offer a more dissociated perspective. From this position, answer the following questions : what needs to happen for this relationship to move forwards? How can this couple collaborate better and become a team? What does the head / mind / you have to do in order to build a healthy relationship with the body / appetite ? What could the body / appetite do to support the relationship-building process. What advice / feedback would you have for either chair 1 or chair 2 or the relationship? Give a small task or activity that this couple could do today to start to re-build a collaborative partnership.

Tip : this can be a very powerful position for insights when you are able to remain dissociated from both chair 1 and chair 2.

Worth noting : were you pleasantly surprised at your level of relationship expertise? (It’s not call the Expert Chair for nothing!)

4. Now return to chair 1, fully associating yourself to your head / mind / you . Having heard the views from chair 2 and chair 3, what insights have you gained? What’s changed for you ? How are you feeling about the future of the relationship at this very moment? What’s the next smallest step you can take right now towards building a deep and respectful connection with your body / appetite? Thank both chair 2 and chair 3 for their contributions to the conversation.

Tip : you may want to continue this conversation, spending time in the chairs which give you the greatest insight (that’s usually chair 2 and/or chair 3 :))

Worth noting : write down all your learning in your journal. You’re beginning to access some of your deepest body wisdom – it’s really worth recording this momentous event!

Sometimes a good honest conversation can transform a relationship. I wonder how this conversation will transform yours. I wonder what you’ll discover that may transform your perception of your body or appetite…

Gotta run 🙂 !

Appetite Awareness Action Adventure!

December 27, 2012December 27, 2012 / intrepidjane

Get ready to plug into your appetite!

Welcome to Day 3 of the 12 Days of Christmas project! (If you are just joining the project now, you can get the full low-down here: https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/18/welcome-to-the-12-days-of-christmas-project/ and I really recommend that you start the project at Day 1 to get the full benefit!)

Yesterday’s post was all about your getting back into your body so that you could begin to pay attention to your body’s signals (and respect them!). So. Guess where we are heading today? That’s right, you are heading right back inside your body (thunder-roll and clash of dramatic symbols) so that you can begin to connect with your appetite 🙂

For those of us who struggle with our weight, we are often so busy looking for “outside” solutions (the latest guru, the latest diet, “wonder” shakes, super foods : I don’t really need to go on, as you are probably an expert at this stuff!) that we ignore our own inner guru.

“What? You are telling me that I’m a guru?” (Just reading your mind there :)) Yes – that’s exactly what I’m telling you : you are a guru. I’m telling you that there is a part of you that is an expert, a highly intelligent source of advice, a complete gold-mine of information. This part of you is constantly communicating with you, constantly sign-posting and constantly giving you feedback on the changing conditions in your body. It provides you with conscious information through your appetite. It tells you when you are hungry, it tells you when you are full, it is capable of naturally regulating itself in accordance with changing physiological conditions.

The problem is that those of us with a history of dieting behind us stopped listening to our inner gurus. When our appetite said “STOP NOW!” We carried on. When our appetite said, “IT’S TIME TO EAT BECAUSE YOU ARE GENUINELY PHYSIOLOGICALLY HUNGRY”, we said “No”. We said “no” because the “outside” gurus said “no snacking” or they said “stick to 3 meals a day” and we said “no” because we wanted to “stay on track”…. And eventually we stopped listening to the inside, we kept overriding the signals .. and after a while we started confusing physiological appetite messages with all sorts of other messages.. (thirst signals, emotional signals..).

So here’s today’s invitation : an Appetite Awareness Action Adventure! You’re going back inside your body to locate your appetite, to learn about it, so that you’ll be able to start listening to it, to start respecting it and to build a respectful connection with it. So pull on your Indiana Jones hat and your Lara Croft boots/Officer John McClane string vests (best I could come up with for the guys :p) and get ready for adventure!

Keep a food diary!

Here’s how to do it : for the next 3 days, keep a food diary. (For those of you sighing in despair, this is not any old food diary:) This diary is a little different because it’s helping you to discover a whole load of other useful stuff and is a form of journaling in its own right).

Every time you get hungry and eat (or don’t eat), do the following ~

1. If you decide to eat, STOP before you eat.Have a drink of water (this step helps you to develop an awareness of the difference between a hunger signal and a thirst signal). If you are still experiencing hunger, proceed to the next step.

2. Write down any physical feelings you are experiencing and the name of any emotions present in your body. (Also, just notice if there are any feelings/emotions absent that are usually present; and any feelings/emotions present that are usually absent).

3. Record your hunger on a scale of 1-10 (10 being “starving”).

4. If you eat, afterwards write down the name of any physical and/or emotional feelings present (and ,again, notice if any feelings are absent that are normally present. Notice if any feelings are present that are usually absent).

5. After eating, record how satisfied you feel on a scale of 1-10 (10 being totally satisfied, 11+ would indicate having overeaten).

6. Record everything you eat and drink , size of portions and the times you eat.

7. If you undertake any type of physical activity, record the length of time you exercise and your perceived rate of exertion on a scale of 1-10 (10 being “flat out”).

8. Be honest – this diary will give you vital clues for reconnecting with your inner guru!

Brace yourself for enlightenment!

Are you curious to find out what you might learn on your adventure? Are you wondering whether you’ll notice any patterns emerging? Are you thinking that this might even help you to develop a closer connection with your body? Are you just a little bit excited at the prospect of developing an acute awareness of the difference between hunger signals and emotional signals? Or are you just raring to get those boots / that string vest on? 🙂 🙂 🙂

Gotta run! 🙂

Entry Permit Stamped : We’re Going In!

December 26, 2012December 26, 2012 / intrepidjane

Come on in!

Welcome to Day 2 of the 12 Days of Christmas project! (If you are just joining the project now, you can get the full low-down here: https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/18/welcome-to-the-12-days-of-christmas-project/ and I really recommend that you start the project at Day 1 to get the full benefit!)

On the 1^st Day of Christmas, it was all about getting in touch with our senses, learning to notice the difference between feeling satisfied and feeling full, learning to be present when eating and learning how rituals can nourish us at many different levels (it’s not only food that nourishes us!). Most of all, yesterday was about pleasure – really understanding the finer distinctions of what pleasure means to you within the context of eating. I’m sure that many of you will have been surprised by the experience and I look forward to hearing about what you learned!

If you remember right back to the project launch post (the one with the wee video about cross-country skiing :)), I mentioned that a big part of this project was all about your learning to listen to your body’s signals, decode the signals effectively and then respect the signals by taking congruent action. Some people would call this getting in touch with your natural body wisdom – the part of you that knows how to regulate your appetite for your optimal health and your optimal weight.

So. Here’s the thing. If you want to be able to pay attention to your body’s signals, you really need to be in your body to get the full message! And that’s what the 2^nd Day of Christmas is all about : your getting back into your body. Sounds weird? Well, many of us who have struggled with our weight often retreat to our heads and dissociate ourselves from our body. We don’t feel comfortable with our body, so we do (what seems to be) the perfectly rational thing and get out! The only thing is, when we leave our body in this way, we also lose touch with its very important body messages (like “I told you to stop eating : you are completely satisfied, so put down your knife and fork and back away from the table with your arms in the air!” or “Hey – you are not hungry, you are just tired and emotional : go to bed!”.. you get the picture, right? :)) – the very messages that, when respected, would help us to experience increasing comfort and confidence in our own body.

Move out of your head and into your body.

That’s right folks, today we’re going in! And to support your going in, here’s a lovely exercise to help you to move out of your head and into your body. Most people find it really relaxing 🙂 and some people find that certain emotions may come up as they begin to re-connect with a very vital part of who they are. Everyone who does this exercise learns something : and I wonder how curious you are discover what you’ll learn that is of importance to your weight loss journey?

Getting Ready Get yourself comfortable in a chair. Make sure it’s quiet and that external distractions (noise, for example) are kept to a minimum, where possible. You can also do this in the bath or the shower!

Step 1 : Close your eyes and move your attention to your breathing.

Where are you breathing from? Is it deep or shallow? How slowly are you breathing? How is the rest of your body responding to your breathing? When you inhale, what is happening in the rest of your body (allow your abdomen to expand as you take in a each new breath)? When you exhale, what is happening in the rest of your body (allow your abdomen to contract as you exhale each breath)? Are you able to breath from your abdomen? What are you noticing about your breathing as you pay more attention to it? And as you are becoming more connected to your breathing ….

Step 2 : Allowing your breathing to dictate the rhythm and speed of exploration, begin to expand your awareness further into your body (outwards from the point in your body where your breathing starts.)

Just like ripples in a pond, as you exhale, spread your awareness further into your body by gradual increments. As you inhale, bring your awareness back to the core, back to the location where your breathing begins.

On each exhale, focus on the new field of awareness. What are you noticing? How are you experiencing your body now? On each exhale, bring all your insights back to the core. The slower you go, the more you’ll notice 🙂

Repeat this process, until your awareness has reached the outer layers of your body and the extremities (your head, toes, fingers and so on). Oh – and here’s a top tip : make sure you become aware of your heart and your stomach (they are both really worth a visit! After all, if you’ve had a bellyful of not being happy with your body, it’s really worth getting to the heart of the matter J)

Get connected to your own rhythm.

Step 3 : Get connected! With fully expanded awareness, and returning to the core of your breathing with every in-breath , consider the following questions :

What are you noticing about the rhythm of YOU? Where in your body is the very source of you? Where is your real rhythm ? How connected do you feel to your body right now? How would you describe that connection? What’s present that’s usually missing? What’s missing that’s usually present? Who or what are you in this very moment?

Step 4 : Keep The Connection Keeping your attention on the location where your breathing begins and keeping your attention on the rhythm of your breathing, open your eyes. As you open your eyes, begin to spread your awareness to your surroundings. Pay attention to what you are seeing, hearing and smelling – and to external tactile sensations (What does the chair feel like against your legs? What is the temperature of the room like?). And (this is the clincher!), as you begin to move your awareness to the outside, make sure you keep connected to your breathing on the inside! (This may take a little practice!)

And that’s us for the 2^nd Day of Christmas! And, of course, this is something that you can do as often as you like, to condition being present in your body. This way, sooner or later, your natural body-state of being will be “presence”.

Again, I recommend that you journal this experience, just noticing new insights each time you get fully associated, each time you get connected to your physical body. Also, feel free to make the process your own – modify it to fit you and your body.

Okay – so it’s the 26^th December and that’s a special ritual day for me. It means a long post-breakfast run. So, I’ll leave you to open more “presence” 🙂

Gotta run! 🙂

Pleasure Permits Issued For The 1st Day Of Christmas!

December 24, 2012December 24, 2012 / intrepidjane

Permission to proceed!

Welcome to the first post of the 12 Days of Christmas project! (Oh – and a very merry Christmas to you too!) So, here’s the deal. Over the next 12 days, I’ll be blogging about how to “stay on track” over the festive period (you can get the full low-down on what I mean by staying on track and how it’s going to work here:

https://thighhighbootcamp.com/2012/12/18/welcome-to-the-12-days-of-christmas-project/ )

“But it’s only the 24^th December and it’s not the 1^st Day of Christmas until tomorrow!” I hear you shouting. That’s right, it is – and sometimes it’s good to open presents early so that you can make sure that they are all ready for use on Christmas Day. (I’m just making sure you have the metaphorical batteries, plugs and adaptors in place to have the full festive fun tomorrow :))

Okay, brace yourself. Here comes Top Tip Number 1 for your staying on track over the Christmas period :

Your pleasure permit is valid!

Give yourself full permission to enjoy the festive food you’d really like to be having. Take full pleasure in eating and in the ritual of sharing food. Yes. You read that right. If you want to have turkey with all the trimmings, goose with all the glitter or pheasant with all the finery – go right ahead and have it. The thing is, most of us who have struggled with diets in the past know that this can be a pretty grim time of year if we feel that we have to stick to a set of diet rules (no matter what) and yet every inch of us wants to eat what everyone else is enjoying. Feelings of deprivation hang like an angry black cloud over festive gatherings – and it’s not just about the food, it’s also about missing out on all the associations linked with the food (l know that, for me, all my childhood Christmases are contained in a spoonful of my grandmother’s bread sauce :). Bread sauce IS Christmas.)

So. What if you didn’t have to feel deprived? What if you could go right on ahead and lap up the full pleasure of Christmas and “stay on track” by respecting your body’s natural signals? Do you want to know how to do that? Are you willing to experiment ? Are you in? Brilliant! Here’s what to do tomorrow (and relax. If you opened this “present” early, feel free to play and have fun with it straight away!)

1. Give yourself full permission to take pleasure in enjoying the food you would like to be eating. You might want to say it out loud while looking in a mirror, or write it down. Notice what feelings or thoughts come up, if any. Handle negative thoughts or feelings (such as guilt or “that’s me off the wagon”) by explaining to yourself :

1) Why it’s important for you to be able to enjoy eating festive food and to be able to feel that you are taking part an important ritual.

2) That you’ll be respecting your body’s signals in a way that has benefits for both your physical and emotional health.

2. Be present while you’re eating. Every time you eat, do the following :

0) Remind yourself that you have given yourself a full Pleasure Permit!

1) Ask yourself “Does this look good?” .What is it about the food that looks appealing?

2) Ask yourself “Does this smell good?” What is it about the aroma of the food that I find so appealing?

3) As you put the food into your mouth, ask yourself “Does this taste good?” Which flavours stand out? What does this food feel like in your mouth? What do you enjoy about the texture of this food?

4) As the food travels from your mouth and into your stomach, ask yourself “How am I experiencing this? Does this feel good?”

5) Chew slowly, savour every sensory aspect of the experience and rest between each mouthful, asking yourself “How satisfied am I already? Have I had enough?”

3. Eat only when you are experiencing FULL pleasure (you can eat whatever you want, as long as you are really enjoying it). If the food looks good, smells good, tastes good and feels good – that’s full pleasure and you can go ahead and eat until you are satisfied. If it’s not giving you full-on pleasure, put your knife and fork down and leave it.

4. Stop when you are SATISFIED rather than FULL. The feeling of being satisfied is usually a pleasurable one, easier to pay attention to when you are operating at SLOW speed! This is not about stopping at the point at which the seams are about to burst (which, for most of us, is not pleasurable at all), this is about continually tuning it to what your body is telling you. If it’s been a while since you’ve paid attention to your body’s signals, this step could be a little hit and miss to start with. However, the invitation is for you to pay exquisite attention to your body’s communications and see if you can work out the point at which you should put the knife and fork down (no matter what is left on your plate). Here’s a tip – feeling satisfied often comes well before the feeling of fullness :). I recommend you making a mental note of your evidence for feeling satisfied as the 12 Days of Christmas project progresses (you might want to ask yourself the questions “How do I know when I am satisfied?” “What’s going on in my body that lets me know I’m fully satisfied?”)

Savour it all!

5. Be present to the fullness of the ritual – savour it all! Whether you are on your own or with friends and family, as you are eating, pay full attention to the other pleasurable aspects of the experience. Who/what is bringing fun to the table? Who/what is bringing peace? What is familiar about the festive ritual you are enjoying? What is new that is bringing you pleasure? What are the positive connections between you and others at the table? If you are on your own, what is pleasurable about connecting with yourself at this very moment? What pleasurable emotions are you feeling as you nourish yourself with the experience? Where do you feel them the most in your body? Ask yourself, what does the ritual of sharing food with myself and/or with others mean to me right now?

So that’s you – all set for the first day of Christmas! You’ll be learning a heap of stuff about your appetite and your body over the next 12 days : many people like to keep a journal of their experiences when undertaking a project like this and I’d really recommend this approach. (You might want to consider some of the following questions : What happened when you gave yourself full permission to eat what you wanted? Did any food you expected to be totally pleasurable actually turn out to be not so pleasurable at all? Did some foods taste good but not feel good? Do you know the difference between feeling satisfied and feeling full? What is the difference for you? Did some foods not actually taste how you “remembered” them tasting? What did you learn about your relationship with food, your body and the ritual of eating today?)

Please feel free to share your 1st Day of Christmas experiences by posting a comment. If you have any questions, leave them as a comment too and I’ll post an answer as soon as I can.

Your next “present” will arrive for unwrapping on the 26^th December 🙂 In the meantime, focus on your own present and savour every pleasurable moment!

Right, that’s me – I’ve a turkey to roast and that bread sauce to make!

Gotta run 🙂

Thigh-High Boot Camp

Transforming Your Body From The Inside Out!

body awareness